Tags
Baby Beluga, bunnies, Family Day, feminism, Jane Austen, Mommy Sippy Cup, preschool literacy activities, Raffi, Sandra Boynton, work-life balance
I’d like to preface this post by saying that if my youngest hadn’t broken my first Mommy Sippy Cup; and my husband hadn’t broken my second; I’d be enjoying wine right now out of one of these puppies:
But I’m not.
May they both rest in piece(s).
Don’t worry, though. Ikea wine glasses still do the job.
Today was Family Day here in Ontario, Canada. For those uninitiated, it’s a statutory holiday occurring in certain Canadian provinces on a Monday in February. Family Day in Ontario was brought to us courtesy of a 2007 McGuinty promise, that if re-elected, he’d give the province a much-needed day off in February to spend with loved ones.
The first Family Day was observed here on Feb. 18, 2008.
The catch?
If you work for a federal employer like, say the Federal Public Service, you don’t get it off.
My husband and I are both federal employees.
Given our kids are both in provincially run schools and daycares, one of us had to stay home.
My husbands’ leave renews with the calendar year, while mine renews with the fiscal (April 1), so he had a full bank and his boss let him take a family day (one of five) for Family Day. So he spent the day home with the kids while I went to work.
In glass half full-land, it was a really quiet drive in.
But work-life went a bit chaotic circa 9:30 and then went non-stop until shortly after 6:00.
Combine hard deadlines with half the department being off for Family Day and it was … a fun day.
Then I left after 6:00 and thought to grocery shop on the way home because husband had kids, so I wouldn’t have to bring them with me but ….
…. everything’s closed for Family Day.
So there goes gym plans tomorrow night.
Because we need to eat.
But I’ll have two preschoolers to “help” with the shopping.
Which, after a full day of school and daycare on their part, and a full day’s work on my part, should go swimmingly.
Thank you Family Day.
But getting back to today, once I got home I was greeted at the door shortly after 7:00 by my two-year-old with a load in her shorts; and a husband happy to pass the torch.
Then my eldest pleaded illness to try to get out of school tomorrow, while we simultaneously prepped for show and tell.
B is going to be for Barbie, in case anyone wanted to know.
And baton – as in TWIRLY!!
Then both girls fought over who I got to put to bed.
We rotate nights and tonight was my turn with my eldest.
My youngest turned on the waterworks.
My eldest held her ground. Dammit.
My youngest attached herself to my leg and wailed like the world would end if I didn’t read Baby Beluga, The Bunny Rabbit Show and Little Miss Austen (1 English Village; 2 Rich Gentlemen; 3 Houses; 4 Marriage Proposals; 5 Sisters … seriously, it’s teaching my two-year-old how to count and is über cute, but my husband could TOTALLY pull it off too! … 6 Horses; 7 Soldiers in Uniform; 8 Musicians; 9 Fancy Ball Gowns; 10,000 Pounds a Year. Sweet Dreams!)
My husband started laughing, but looked a bit awkward about the whole thing.
Which made me feel loved; and missed; and bad for my husband who had been there and “on” all day; and guilty for not being more present.
Is the overreaction because I work?
Maybe?
And that’s the rub.
Maybe.
Maybe I need to be more there.
And life happens in real-time and I’ve got one kick at doing my best for me and mine.
Tonight’s resolution was that I put our eldest to bed, complete with reading of The Little Mermaid, and then, after my husband had Baby Beluga’d and Bunny Rabbit Showed with the youngest, I swooped in and “Austened Out”.
Which, in my two-year-old’s world is apparently sort of equivalent to this:
Yeah.
So today, WordPress asked:
If you could clone yourself, how would you split up your responsibilities?
I think they’ve done movies about this from working parent perspective so I’m not sure I have much to add, but since you asked …
I’d split work me and home me.
Work me would pursue career, free from daycare pick-up and need for (what I increasingly believe is fictitious) balance. Work me would smoothly network as required. She’d be able to suggest cool restaurants and after-hour clubs. She’d totally know the band. And be on top of personal upkeep stuff like re-dying and cutting her hair and pedicures. She’d remember your name. She’d also run marathons in her spare time. You know. For personal fulfillment. Keeping trim is just a nice extra! Totally wasn’t trying!
Home me would hang with my girls, get glasses fixed before my eldest basically couldn’t see through the scratches anymore (note: not covered by plan or warranty), strategically and creatively use “busy bags” (see: way too many posts on Pinterest) to help my children “achieve their potential” without “doing it for them”, go to the gym more and cook proper meals and so be 15 lbs thinner (kind of like mat-leave me, who I really liked), take youngest to play-group, spend hours doing the extra’s required so our eldest is “caught up in senior kindergarten” (spend a moment with me in the insanity of that statement). Home me would figure out the sewing machine and what the heck fondants are for in cake decorating (because I really enjoyed my Wilton Level 1 Class). She’d volunteer for school functions and join the PTA. You know. For personal fulfillment. Connecting with other moms is just a nice extra! Totally wasn’t trying!
Both these people would individually have time to nurture personal relationships – like, say, marriage – and being able to truly do both work and home front via cloning they would feel like they’d lived up to the ridiculous bar set for women everywhere.
There would be much celebration and dancing in the streets for this woman:
I encourage you to listen to this montage to this song in order to best identify with the author.
Yeah. It was a day. And yay bunnies. The Boynton Bunny Rabbit Show free download is available here.
And for what it’s worth? I still think I’m one life hack away from figuring it all out.
What about you? If you could clone yourself, how would you split your responsibilities?
CynFranks said:
Love, love, love your blog! The post is great! Your life is way more complicated than mine. And for what it’s worth, my mother worked my entire life and I never felt like I missed anything. It was the norm for me.
I find it an an odd coincidence that “Family Day” falls on the same day as President’s Day does in the US. I live across the river in Michigan (Riverview). Can you hear the Windsor Hum from your house?
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CynFranks said:
Forgot to add, I’m going to add your blog to my blog roll because it is a great example of good blogging and just plain good writing.
I need to check-out that Little Miss Austen, how I’ve not seen that until now is beyond me!
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Louise said:
Thank you so much for both comments – appreciate it! And following you back, also for good writing (blush and thanks). As for Family Day coinciding with President’s Day – hmmm – maybe everyone just needs a break in February (except Canadian Federal employees who of course forever simply live to serve). My hunch (hope?) is it eventually ends up a holiday here all around.
I’m a ways from Windsor/Michigan so no hum. Our closest crossing is at scenic Ogdensburg and Cornwall.
As for Little Miss Austen – it was featured at Christmas in the bookstores here and I impulse bought. But apparently from 2011, so I also missed for a few years 🙂 I’m amused at how much my two-year-old took to it and am trying to figure out how much of that is my enthusiasm for it.
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CynFranks said:
Oh, darn! I was hoping to read your account of the Windsor Hum. I do know where Ogdensberg is. Wait for it…..do you know Justin Beiber?
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Louise said:
Nope – not Justin. Almost Alanis once though. Does that count?
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CynFranks said:
LOL! I almost met her too!
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Louise said:
Okay, so apparently less impressive than I’d intended there… ah well.
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Lisa @ The Meaning of Me said:
Oh Louise…been there, done that, got the guilt and all the rest. Hugs to you. Just hugs and hugs. I know. I think I’m with you on the idea of balance being completely fictitious. I don’t care who you are or what you do or don’t do, that is nigh unto impossible. Something’s always gotta give. In my case, it’s usually clean toilets or laundry put away where it belongs. 😀
Family Day sounds like a great idea…in theory. Clearly not in practice, huh?
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Louise said:
Thanks Lisa! As for Family Day – it is a great idea for those who get it off – who are an awful lot of people. And we do get other holidays so overall I’ve nothing to complain about, it’s just a bit much to spend the car ride into work listening to the radio tell me about all the quality family stuff I should be doing… And then having a busy day on top of it kind of finished me yesterday.
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Lisa @ The Meaning of Me said:
Yeah, that would be a drag for sure.
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CynFranks said:
I have added your blog to my blogroll “Noodling the Net for Fun and Inspiration”
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Louise said:
I’ll try to live up to the blogroll name and expectations 🙂
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Crystal said:
I daydream about cloning myself too. The clone would clean up poop, shut the fridge door and the front door during the summer and in the five minutes left in the day after that, maybe some dishes. Thank you for commenting on my blog, by the way!
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Louise said:
Sounds like a plan! You should reward your clone at the end of all that with some wine or sweets – going on six years as a mom has clarified for me that bribes totally work!
And my pleasure – ’twas a very motivating (or at least honest?) flow chart 🙂
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Melissa (Wading Through Motherhood) said:
Family Day sounds like an awesome idea…if everyone had the day off. If there were two of me, one would be in really good shape, be able to have a lot of time to write, and take care of all the things that need to done to my house (painting, gardening, de-cluttering). The other me would have fun with my family without having to worry about any responsibilities. Both would be able to get eight hours of sleep a night.
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Louise said:
Eight hours of sleep a night sounds wonderful! I might choose to be either of you in this scenario!
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Reese Speaks said:
Hey Louise! First of all, if I could, I would wave my magic wand and magically give you and your family a day off to spend together. Every family needs more than the governed mandatory holidays off each year, so why not yours?!
Secondly, to answer your question, I think I would clone myself twice so that there are three of me. Blogger Me would rule over the computer, taking care of all of the posts I have to write. Home Me would reign over what needs to get done at home and keep this place sparkling (insert laughter here), and keep the rest of us up-to-date with everything television. Fun Me would be the fun and savvy lass that would be hanging out with her friends, working out all of the time, would be on point with all of the latest trends, and would be sipping wine and know which ones are the best to drink with which foods. Oh, if this were possible! 😛
Thanks for another amazing post, Louise!
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Louise said:
Thanks so much! I wish you had a magic wand too!
I’d like to have a blogger me too (or a writer me, so I could really give it a focussed try). I like your “home me” keeping up with TV too 🙂
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Christy Birmingham said:
Sending prayers for the mommy sippy cups!
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Louise said:
Sigh. Thank you. Both my husband and mother are on the lookout for replacement #3.
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lilypup said:
I have been reading quite a few of these clone posts and yours and mine have a similar take. Although I am 55! Lots of people took this seriously and went for the scientific point of view. PS. How do you like Chateau? I also use this theme. https://lilypupslife.wordpress.com/2015/02/17/clone-wars/
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Louise said:
Ok now I’m worried. I was sort of hoping that I’d have the balance thing worked out by 55… Not sure about how I feel about still finding clones appealing once the kids are grown.
As for Chateau I love it and haven’t ever used another (although I’ve looked) I just find it looks nice and clean.
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Brenda Davis Harsham said:
OMG, Little Miss Austen, how cute is that? And that Bunny — that is a solution-solving skill I need. LOL
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Louise said:
I sort of love that Little Miss Austen is one of my toddler’s current favourite books! And yes – that bunny spoke to my soul 🙂
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Brenda Davis Harsham said:
LOL
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