I admit, my title is a bit of a spoiler.

Or a teaser….

Do I have you hooked now?

It was a banner parenting week over here.

And without further ado, I give you, as part of Melissa’s Blog Hop over at the Mommyhood Chronicles:

My Top Five Laughs of the Week

Number 5

You know how things are stereotypes because they’re, like, based on real life?  We’re driving to a friend’s house last weekend and my 3-year-old from her car seat in the back suddenly starts asking: “Are we there yet?  Mom?  Are we there yet?  How about now?  Mom?  Are we there yet?”  Really – I thought this scene was something that ONLY happened in movies spoofing parenting.  But no.  Apparently completely factual.

Number 4

I will forever adore the mis-speaks of young children.  One of my eldest daughter’s first words was “elicious!”  Everything she ate was “elicious!” for a while.  And sometimes things still are, even though she can now say the word properly.  Currently, however, she is mainly concerned with the concept of certain things being “breakaggle.”  So she is working on not dropping glasses, the iPad, etc…

Number 3

My youngest has recently really tuned in to reading – which as a former literacy volunteer and all-round book-worm I think is wonderful.  Her current favourite book is Dear Zoo, by Rod Campbell.  She loves lifting the flaps.  So we’ve been reading it at least twice before going to bed for the past week or so. And for the past two nights she has insisted on taking it to bed with her.  She curls up with her bunny under one arm, and Dear Zoo clutched across her front 🙂

Number 2

Last weekend we hosted my family for Sunday dinner and for some reason our children just weren’t themselves.  They whined; they cried; they made random demands; they sporadically ran into walls and otherwise injured themselves; they crawled all over us; they spilled juice and food; etc….  At one point both my husband and I were yelling (I mean providing constructive, rational guidance to our offspring) at the same time.  I remember turning to my younger brother and sister-in-law and suggesting this specific moment might be effective as birth control.  I certainly remember moments before I was ready to have kids when I had to spend time with my niece and nephew as they were misbehaving and – yeah – it’s TOTALLY effective birth control.

Number 1

Years ago, pre-kids, pre-marriage, when my now husband and I were just dating, one of his best friends bought him a gag gift: a small smushy rubber ball shaped as a boob.  It was funny.  And I hadn’t seen it in years.  Until Tuesday when I came home from work.  My (just recently) one-year-old had somehow located it and was toddling around with it.  Neither my husband nor I have any idea where it came from.  Really, they should assign our baby to a Search and Rescue team.  Anyway, she had it.  And because she had it, my 3-year-old wanted it.  And so to avoid a fight over the boob ball, I did what any rational parent would do in this situation. We played catch.  I figure neither kid had clued into the fact it was shaped like a tit.  And after a few rounds of boob ball they lost interest and I just hid it away again.  We’ll see how long it takes baby to re-locate it.