I had this whole clever post thought out…
A few weeks ago I found myself with my 3-year-old in public (’cause sometimes I, like, take her out and stuff) and she was complaining about something completely inane – like requiring a bendy straw after having only been given a straight straw – and I turned to her without thinking and I says…
“Sweetie, this is what we call a First World Problem.”
And my preschooler just kind of stared at me. While calmly – and completely seriously – waiting for me to spontaneously produce a bendy straw.
Random stranger beside me laughed.
Which made me think: There are first world problems, and then there are first world preschool problems.
And I thought to myself, self, I should do a blog post. Because this brings it to A. Whole. New. Level.
All the random sh*t that my preschooler freaks out about:
- We go swimming twice a week, and you put my goggles on crooked!
- I wanted to wear the PINK dress but you made me wear the YELLOW dress! I DISOWN YOU.
- I wanted to watch Thumbelina and you made me watch Barbie Thumbelina. [because Netflix was down so we only had the Barbie video option]
… and then I went down the Internet rabbit hole and realized – no – actually, if I’m marking on a “first world problem bell curve“, she’s actually gonna have to up her distortion of reality before she’s REALLY a player. Which is saying a lot. Because SHE’S A PRESCHOOLER.
After watching this, and running through a few other links, I took a pause to congratulate myself for not being quite the crap parent I think I am every time my daughter spouts off one of these requests and I wonder how I let things get to the stage where she seriously thinks life is one big carousel of bendy straws and non-Barbie Thumbelina on demand.
Ah. Perspective. Thank you Internet. When I have a health issue, you generally convince me I’m dying, but as far as my own first world problem [preschool drama] goes? Yes, you’ve reminded me things really could be worse.
Oh! And my awesome original idea? Yeah, not so original. Please check out Mommy Shorts. She gets EXACTLY where I’m going with this. ‘Cause she and all her followers had this exact conversation back in April. And she has this AWESOME funny graphic which is hilariously on point (and also TOTALLY outside my novice bloggy skill set – note to self – figure out graphics). And Rants from Mommyland also did it in March in equal parts funny and true (as a note – if she accepts followers I may be on board with “Guru Louise” – just not sure what rank of Louise that makes me …)
But I still think there is room for a video. And if I had the skills (and a bit more free time, and more friends with kids of the right age, and I’d throw some other excuses in here but, really, I’m getting kinda tired) I’d do one with a montage of preschoolers spouting off their first world preschool issues.
So this is my gift idea to those more creative than me – if it exists, let me know. But if not, take it and FLY. My Google searching didn’t find it and I think it’d be GOLD.
I’m thinking something in this vein (I’m a Public Servant and a mom – so this resonates with me – but even if you aren’t a Canadian Bureaucrat, I think you get the idea):