…but then I had to:
- sleep in (my one day a week. REALLY. I earned it);
- wake up slowly and enjoy breakfast alone (see above. My one day a week. Hubs takes the kids elsewhere. It’s GOLD);
- catch up on Twitter (because I hadn’t done it in a few days and it’s, like, a really good way for me to follow completely self-selected news that validates my view of the world);
- (sigh) go to work for a few hours;
- do my economics homework;
- take the kids swimming (Wave pool. Awesome); and
- go to family dinner.
But I’m here now and TOTALLY FOCUSSED ON YOU BLOG!
So, daily prompt asks, what have I been putting off doing, why?
I could tell you about any number of little things I haven’t managed to get done or that I’ve let slide.
But the honest truth? Writing.
I’d love to make a living writing.
Why don’t I?
A good dose of “fear of failure” factors in there.
But the big one?
I don’t honestly think I can make a reasonable living writing. On this front, I have a journalism degree and worked in literacy for a while, so I know a good number of people who do so or are trying. All told, I have a good sense as to the effort involved.
And when push comes to shove? I’m a straight up pragmatist.
I remember graduating from Journalism school and applying for jobs. There were starter journalism jobs that basically said: Hey! Come work for the Middle of Nowhere Weekly! for $24,000/yr + no benefits. By the way, you need a car. Then there were starter government jobs as follows: Hey! Come work for the Government of Canada for $30,000/yr + benefits. By the way, we’re local, so you can live at home until we give you enough of a raise that you can afford rent! Also, there’s a transit system.
Suffice to say, 12 years later, I still work for the government.
And that’s where I sit.
Every now and again I take a stab at writing:
- I start a blog (like this one)
- I submit something to a writing contest (not counting high school and below, nothing to report back on that front)
- I apply to contribute to an editorial board
- I sign up for a writing class (they’ve all been cancelled)
- I start drafting an article for submission somewhere (but inevitably somehow run out of time)
Life honestly IS busy and chaotic at the moment. We’re in the thick of the Carlsberg Years here (mortgage, kids and all ’round lack o’ sleep).
Don’t get me wrong – life is good. I even like my career. It just isn’t COMPLETELY the one fantasized about when I pictured myself with a column on the back page of Macleans or as an acclaimed author of VC Andrews (don’t judge, the dream started young) or Anne Rice stature.
To a certain extent, I guess growing up can mean putting those dreams on hold to deal with the reality you are in – and the fact that it really isn’t all about you anymore.
Hence I find myself using what spare time I have to take cooking classes (to benefit myself, but also my family); and economics courses (because I hope that will help career-wise moving forward, again to the benefit of myself, but family too).
Having a family also means not having the time to sit and simply BE. To let creativity come to you. I have trouble finding the time at the moment to formulate a blog post; let alone a book.
But I also believe that you FIND and MAKE the time to do the things you WANT to do.
So when the itch started again this time I tried to pin it down and figure out what it was I really WANTED.
Simply put at the moment: I want an outlet to write. So I started a blog. I’m going to try to commit to finding the time to post. That’s what I’ve got to give on this front at the moment.
If I really wanted more, I’d somehow find the time to try.
So as far as my version of The Great Gatsby goes? I’m still procrastinating on that one.