, , , ,

…but then I had to:

  • sleep in (my one day a week.  REALLY.  I earned it);
  • wake up slowly and enjoy breakfast alone (see above.  My one day a week.  Hubs takes the kids elsewhere.  It’s GOLD);
  • catch up on Twitter (because I hadn’t done it in a few days and it’s, like, a really good way for me to follow completely self-selected news that validates my view of the world);
  • (sigh) go to work for a few hours;
  • do my economics homework;
  • take the kids swimming (Wave pool.  Awesome); and
  • go to family dinner.


So, daily prompt asks, what have I been putting off doing, why?

I could tell you about any number of little things I haven’t managed to get done or that I’ve let slide.

But the honest truth?  Writing.

I’d love to make a living writing.

Why don’t I?

A good dose of “fear of failure” factors in there.

But the big one?

I don’t honestly think I can make a reasonable living writing.  On this front, I have a journalism degree and worked in literacy for a while, so I know a good number of people who do so or are trying.  All told, I have a good sense as to the effort involved.

And when push comes to shove?  I’m a straight up pragmatist.

I remember graduating from Journalism school and applying for jobs.  There were starter journalism jobs that basically said: Hey!  Come work for the Middle of Nowhere Weekly! for $24,000/yr + no benefits.  By the way, you need a car.  Then there were starter government jobs as follows: Hey! Come work for the Government of Canada for $30,000/yr + benefits. By the way, we’re local, so you can live at home until we give you enough of a raise that you can afford rent!  Also, there’s a transit system.

Suffice to say, 12 years later, I still work for the government.

And that’s where I sit.

Every now and again I take a stab at writing:

  • I start a blog (like this one)
  • I submit something to a writing contest (not counting high school and below, nothing to report back on that front)
  • I apply to contribute to an editorial board
  • I sign up for a writing class (they’ve all been cancelled)
  • I start drafting an article for submission somewhere (but inevitably somehow run out of time)
Carlsberg beers. From left: Carls porter, Carl...

Carlsberg beers. From left: Carls porter, Carlsberg Light, Carls lager,Carlsberg Master Brew, Carls special, Carls dark, Elephant beer. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Life honestly IS busy and chaotic at the moment.  We’re in the thick of the Carlsberg Years here (mortgage, kids and all ’round lack o’ sleep).

Don’t get me wrong – life is good.  I even like my career.  It just isn’t COMPLETELY the one fantasized about when I pictured myself with a column on the back page of Macleans or as an acclaimed author of VC Andrews (don’t judge, the dream started young) or Anne Rice stature.

To a certain extent, I guess growing up can mean putting those dreams on hold to deal with the reality you are in – and the fact that it really isn’t all about you anymore.

Hence I find myself using what spare time I have to take cooking classes (to benefit myself, but also my family); and economics courses (because I hope that will help career-wise moving forward, again to the benefit of myself, but family too).

Having a family also means not having the time to sit and simply BE.  To let creativity come to you.  I have trouble finding the time at the moment to formulate a blog post; let alone a book.

But I also believe that you FIND and MAKE the time to do the things you WANT to do.

So when the itch started again this time I tried to pin it down and figure out what it was I really WANTED.

Simply put at the moment: I want an outlet to write.  So I started a blog.  I’m going to try to commit to finding the time to post.  That’s what I’ve got to give on this front at the moment.

If I really wanted more, I’d somehow find the time to try.

So as far as my version of The Great Gatsby goes?  I’m still procrastinating on that one.