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FreedombuttonSo a year ago …

When I was having a slow day at work …

That coincided with our annual evaluations, learning plan development, and training and career development requests…

I thought to myself:

“Self, you should take macroeconomics through distance education with the University of Athabasca.”

I said:

“Self, you wish to apply for senior analyst jobs in the EC – Economics – Stream of the Federal Public Service.  This would be a good career learning experience.”

I thought:

“Self, you did microeconomics this way while pregnant with your second child and you rocked that!  How hard can macro be?”

I thought:

“Corner or my desk project!  It’s all about 80:20, right?  Employers ensure adequate time for learning and development at work.  I will have AMPLE time to do at least a good part of this at the office.  All it takes is a bit of time management.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

One year and three extension later I wrote the final today.  I’m fairly confident I passed.   One job change (into the EC stream, so there went THAT incentive!  Economics taught me how to define my response to that promotion), one acting assignment, and one job with extra responsibilities added due to circumstance later, the corner of my desk was filled with anything but economics, my weekends that weren’t spent at multiple kiddie birthday parties and various other basically required kid/family-related engagements were spent running to my parents’ house for quiet and calm in which to study where two preschoolers didn’t crawl all over me to snuggle and “help” me “colour” (ie: highlight) in my textbook.

The night before the exam?  Up until 12:30 with my youngest who apparently simply can’t bear to part with me or be alone currently.  Something about being almost two and attachment issues?  It wasn’t a “thing” with our first, and if I hadn’t been busy spending every spare moment trying to determine when the Bank of Canada decides to use open market sales rather than purchases and which one fights recession as illustrated through six simple graphs, I might have Googled that shit.

As it was?  I coined the preschool sleepover.  My youngest “sleeping over” in my eldest’s bed, sandwiched against the wall so she doesn’t fall out.  Tonight?  My eldest was determined it was my youngest’s turn to host, so they are both currently in her crib. I’m fairly confident they aren’t collectively over the weight limit, won’t smother each other, and will go yank my eldest out once my youngest is soundly sleeping.  Barring this approach, it’s been co-sleeping with mommy and she’s not going without me, which didn’t really work with the “get up early to study” or “study once they are both in bed” schedule.

Continuing innovation, leading to continued increases in prosperity, more efficient uses of resources… it’s one of the growth theories I TOTALLY covered, but please don’t ask me which one.  My four-year-old getting up at 5:30 am this morning asking to watch Winks interrupted that review.

That said?

I’m done.

Whatever my grade.  It’s over.

And this post?  It’s mostly so I have something IN WRITING about HOW ONEROUS taking an undergrad course, while working full-time, with two pre-schoolers, actually was.

So that, in six months, when this is all a bit blurry, and I’m filling out my learning plan, I don’t suddenly think to myself, self:

“Let’s sign up for another economics course!  At this rate I can get another BA by the time I retire!”

I need to remember how much effort, and work, and inconvenience it all was.

I need to remember to just say no.

And to remember the feeling of relief I feel RIGHT NOW that it’s OVER.

And how I celebrated by … grocery shopping after work then coming home to clean my house for two hours while enjoying two glasses of wine.  All three tasks were desperately needed as a result of neglect brought on by studying.

I am a wild party.

Both my daughters then sat on my lap and helped me design tonight’s graphic with Picmonkey. It sums up both my thrill at being finished and my hope of more time outdoors and with them now that I’m done.  As a note, my four-year-old now thinks Picmonkey is the coolest game ever.  She can bike underwater, or with stars, or fireworks, or pumpkins…. So much fun.

I’ve also been humming this all day:

Bring on summer, (a wee bit) less responsibility, and like George sings – some happy.  Wahoo!

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