When I was in my early twenties, a female friend of the same age informed me that she – unlike so many others – would never become a “baby moron” upon having kids.
Me: What’s a baby moron?
Her: Oh, you know. Those women who once they have a kid are somehow incapable of talking about anything else. I mean, I want kids, but there’s more to life than how many times a day your kid poops and what they’re eating, and … stuff. When I have kids I’m still going to have my own life!
The comment stuck. I vowed to NEVER become a “baby moron.”
Fast forward about 15 years. I am now a mother of two. About two years ago I was out for the evening having a beer and catching up with a childless male friend from university.
Him: It’s so great that you still go out now that you have kids! So many of my female friends simply disappeared once they gave birth.
Another friend, on a similar evening out, complimented me on my ability – nay, my apparently Herculean achievement – to not just talk about my kids all night.
In both instances, after basking for a moment in the glow of their admiration at my stunning ability to both make it out to a pub for an evening and carry on a conversation that didn’t involve the Nipissing Developmental Checklist, I confessed the secret to my success.
I have a blog.
Welcome to the space where I air my parenting neuroses and celebrate in navel-gazing, painstaking detail all the cool stuff my kids do.
Depending on how the “I have a blog” admission is received, I sometimes go for the double whammy and whip out my blog business card (It’s not a business, but I’ve attended a couple of conferences):
Through this space I find like-minded people who sincerely want to spend just as much time as I do dissecting why my 6-year-old CONSTANTLY reads “li” as “il” or how my 3-year-old isn’t yet developmentally ready to do a back star float.
Through this space I also find people to cheer with me about how it’s just the COOLEST THING EVER that we have encouraged an early love of Guns N’ Roses in our three-year-old and that our eldest once declared that the driver of the sports car who took the parking spot reserved for “parents with young children” was a HOLE.
Why does this help in other parts of my life?
Because, well, funny thing? While friends, extended family and acquaintances are usually good with a quick “How are the kids?” update (Hint: the right answer is Fine! and maybe 1-3 photos if they look REALLY interested), despite how FASCINATING I think it is, they are less interested with, for example, a 40-minute exposé on my daughter’s tummy time trials through first year mapped against my thoughts on a Google search for available research on plagiocephaly.
So I blog about that stuff instead.
Through blogging I found my support network for this stage of life.
Through this space I have received wonderful tips to help my kids with certain hurdles. I have picked up craft, book, game, etc… ideas to keep them busy. I’ve won Barbie movie tickets!
In return, I celebrate the successes and equally provide support and suggestions when needed to my friends in blogland.
This is where I can fully, madly, completely and proudly be a baby moron when I need to let it out, need support, need guidance or simply need to share something about parenting.
Because, I discovered that once you become a parent, you are ALWAYS a parent.
There is no way it can’t be a major focus of your life.
I needed an outlet and place to talk about all this stuff while my professional life carried on. So I found one.
That said, I also don’t think parenting should be the only focus in my life.
So this blog is also about my struggles with figuring out identity, and space for myself post marriage and kids.
Because that changes things.
The blog is about nurturing and finding space for the other aspects in my life that don’t always get enough airtime IRL. Personal goals, music, my love of vampire fiction, ways to make a difference. It’s for working through why I think the way I do about certain things. It’s for challenging me to figure out “the why” in my thinking and life. It’s for writing and creativity other parts of my life don’t allow. It’s about filling in all the parts I need in my life to make me happy.
Why do you blog? I’ve shared here as part of the WordPress Discover Challenge. If you have a moment, surf about the other contributions.