It’s not you. It’s me.
Because, trust me. You were awesome.
I mean, just look at yourself. All sweet, and bright, and vibrant.
Really, you light up a room. You bring the fun.
And we had some great years together.
From Halloween; straight through high school; and then university exams.
You were there for me.
Even when you weren’t helping me manage stress, we hung out together and you went great with a few glasses of crisp white wine to help me unwind at the end of the day.
Remember when I use to pick you up at the Bulk Barn and then sneak you into the movies under my coat?
We saw some great flicks together, didn’t we? And you were so right about that guy I was dating for a few months back in my undergrad.
I remember when I stopped buying you in individual packs because it was simply more economical to buy the larger ones – remember?
Then there were the times where I just couldn’t decide between Fuzzy Peaches and Cherry Blasters. So you’d both come over and we’d all hang out for the evening.
I believe at one stage your packages even informed me you were “fat-free” to help me feel better about our relationship.
But I’ll forgive you for that small “giving of scope” to the truth of the whole matter. Maybe you sensed the start of my ambivalence.
Either way, you are beautiful.
I know it must have seemed sudden for you.
I figured out last year I no longer have the metabolism of a 24-year-old.
I also remembered that I’m no longer a varsity athlete.
And that I’ve given birth.
And so, while you were helping all my clothes fit like a snuggly hug, I knew I was going to have to let something go.
That was over a year – and 30 lbs – ago.
For what it’s worth, it wasn’t just you that I broke up with. I also quit McDonald’s, fast food generally, bagels and cream cheese and coffee shop muffins.
But you’re the one that still sneaks back into my house once in a while. Sometimes you’re in a loot bag from a birthday party my daughter attends. I also noticed you last October in the Halloween haul. And sometimes you creep back in with someone who doesn’t know that we don’t hang out anymore.
I get it. We really did have some great times together.
So I wanted you to know that Wine and I talked it over.
And while, even after all this time, we really miss you sometimes, we still think the break up is for the best.
I hope you understand.
This post is in response to today’s Daily Prompt: Tell us about something you’ve tried to quit. Did you go cold turkey, or for gradual change? Did it stick?
I’m gonna have to have the same conversation with my chocolate… eventually. 😉 Great post.
Ah … give chocolate a chance … and there are some chocolates that actually have some health benefits, right? You can rationalize that relationship for years to come if you really put your mind to it 🙂
Thanks for the kind words!
Oh, I’ll give it a chance. 😉 It’s a relationship I don’t plan on give up on any time soon. But eventually I may have to. So says my doctor. le sigh.
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I have no idea what a Maynard is (candy obvs) but it doesn’t matter cuz I think we all have a candy or vice we want/need to break up with! You did this so perfect and funny, Louise! I was grinning throughout. You’re hysterical.
Thanks a lot! It was fun to write 🙂
Okay – editing my comment here, so not sure how that reads on your end. Does Maynard not make it to the US? It’s one of the main gummy candy companies – fuzzy peaches, wine gums, cherry blasters – all the GOOD STUFF!
I looked it up, and it looks like it’s mainly distributed in the UK and Canada.
Huh. Thanks. I learnt something new!
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Love the thought, and the humor with which you approached it. Gummies (regardless of brand) are about the best candy you can get in my opinion. They are hard to give up. Good for you. 🙂
Thanks for this – I obviously agree re: gummies. It’s funny – I hadn’t thought about them in ages and as I searched for pictures all I could think was “Man! Those look good!”
But I held strong 🙂
Martha Kennedy said:
I had to break up with hot chocolate between my 5 pm and 5:30 classes 😦 But…I’m hearing whispers from your esoteric Canadian candies that it wasn’t them; it was muffins and they think you should think this through.
I think I’ll agree with hot chocolate that muffins might be the true culprit!
I also found a low calorie hot chocolate a while ago – 45 calories a cup I think. They kindly sell it at my work’s cafeteria. So once in a while I indulge in that. So if you are okay with artificial sweeteners (which is a whole different debate) there’s always that option.
Martha Kennedy said:
I’m OK with artificial sweeteners. 🙂
In that case – I’ll check the name for you – really wasn’t horrible so it’s a nice substitute for the real thing 🙂
Martha Kennedy said:
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Soda and I need to have this chat, but I’m just not ready to let go yet!
Ah! No point until you are ready!
I generally “half and half” my pop by adding soda water when I can. I figure I still get the sweet with half the calories. And I get to feel quasi virtuous – so there’s also that 😉
Sandy Ramsey said:
I just had this same little chat with the plate of brownies my kids made over the weekend. Alas, the brownie was a stalker and wouldn’t leave me alone. So I ate it and it should be okay now 🙂
Closure is important.
For both parties. 😉
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