On March 20, the #1000Speak Compassionate Blogging Movement encouraged bloggers to write posts about Building from Bullying. My contribution is here.
I don’t know about you, but after a weekend of reading a number of posts both about finding the good from difficult situations, but also describing the challenges and difficulties so many have had with bullying, and the scars it leaves, I felt in need of a bit of solace.
Music always makes me feel better. I do a lot of musical posts here and am currently working my way through the alphabet. However, I felt the need for a bit of a virtual campfire sing-along after my weekend readings.
So Blythe – my musical dolly co-host – and I decided to do an extra music post, reflecting on Building from Bullying and, well, just to lift myself up after a weekend of sometimes difficult reads.
I hope you enjoy it.
1. Black Celebration – Depeche Mode (1986)
While other teens my age worked their angst out to Nirvana, I knew this girl with an older sister who loved Depeche Mode. So I decided they were cool and spoke to my soul.
And so this was the band that saw me through high school and that I listened to when I was feeling down. There to make me feel better.
And this song always made me feel better after a rough day. Because, indeed sometimes I did need:
To celebrate the fact
That we’ve seen the back
Of another black day
I want to take you in my arms
Forgetting all I couldn’t do today
Even today, there are days where I feel like that. And when, indeed, I’ll drink to that.
2. Grace Kelly – Mika (2007)
And ooooh – I love it.
How can I help it
How can I help it
How can I help what you think?
Hello my baby
Hello my baby
Putting my life on the brink
Why don’t you like me
Why don’t you like me
Why don’t you like yourself?
Should I bend over?
Should I look older just to be put on your shelf?
If ever you need to be reminded to stop trying to please others, see above.
3. Lullaby- Shawn Mullins (1998)
After this weekend’s reads, I just feel the need to tell everyone touched by bullying – be you the former bully who regrets, the bystander who wished they could have done more, or the bullied who had to live through this, everything really will be all right.
I’ve also thought many times when I hear the lyric about how she sits in the bar where from the stage the singer can see that “she can’t let go and she can’t relax” how many times I’ve had those conversations in bars where people really just did need to tell somebody about that time when … and for some reason, picked me. To them too: everything really will be all right. Life makes us all a bit broken, and it’s really okay to let go sometimes. We all need it at least once in a while.
4. F*ckin Perfect – Pink (2010)
So I found this video back in early February when I was surfing around for a Vampire music post (don’t judge – we all have our things).
I do vampire-themed posts from time to time here and like I have Blythe for music posts, I have Draculaura (from Monster High fame) for vampire posts.
So while looking for any sort of video with her, I came across something even better.
Apparently there are all sorts of young people doing stop motion videos with their Monster High dolls.
This one stopped me cold with its anti-bullying message. I absolutely LOVE that people are doing stuff like this online.
And the author’s message at the end of the video, in part quoting Monster High in her voice, making it her own, made me want my daughters to have that sort of self-confidence when they get to that stage. As she said, remember to have the confidence to:
Remember, we are perfect in our own way.
Let’s celebrate our differences.
Just be yourself.
Be a monster.
We could have other talks about what fashion dolls are telling our young girls, but when watching this, I mostly love to watch the stories our young girls are telling themselves, each other, and us with those dolls.
5. I Love Myself Today –Bif Naked (2001)
So here’s the song I forever think of when I think of empowerment – and the one I want to leave you all with today. Regardless of your past, you are here today, so love yourself NOW. And use everything that came before to make you the best you now.
My last thought before leaving this comes from one of the comments I came across this weekend on all the “Building from Bullying” posts I read. The writer wrote something to the effect that getting over bullying isn’t like a montage song in a movie where everything suddenly gets fixed through that movie montage scene where everyone works together, or sees their wrongs or learns from their errors etc…
They are very right.
Life isn’t like the movies, bullying can take years to work through, and music doesn’t magically solve everything. Each person out there has to figure out what it is they need to move forward and help themselves. And then they have to go out and find that.
That said, I have always found solace and reflection in music. In my loneliest times, it was there. It alone held me and helped me through in some of my hardest teen moments. And when I was ready to look outwards, those who also heard and felt music in ways similar to me, were the ones I connected with.
We all need to find our own rhythm and our own path. This was mine.
And if you like it too, I’m happy to know it. So drop me a line in the comments and let me know the songs that have helped you through harder times.
Or the songs that have made you realize you are awesome – ’cause I’d like to hear about those too!